Navigating Emotional Overwhelm: A Personal Journey through Loss and Long-Distance Support
- Mar 21, 2023
- 2 min read
Updated: Jul 11, 2023
Emotional overwhelm is a common experience that often arises during difficult life events, such as the major life changes, ongoing stress, loss of a loved one or the challenges of long-distance care-giving. This emotional overwhelm challenges our ability to cope. In these moments, it's easy to feel consumed by intense emotions, making it difficult to function or maintain a sense of well-being.
In this blog, I will share my personal journey navigating emotional overwhelm of watching my mum pass away from Alzheimer's disease, 18 months ago, and supporting my elderly dad from miles away. My hope is that, by sharing my experiences and insights, I can help others who may be navigating similar situations of emotional overwhelm.
Of course, there is no magic pill, and feelings don’t dissipate entirely, but here are a few coping strategies to consider:
1. Acknowledge and validate your feelings
The first step to managing emotional overwhelm is to acknowledge and validate your feelings. Understand that it's natural to experience intense emotions during difficult situations. Give yourself permission to feel and process these emotions without judgment.
Witnessing my mum's battle with Alzheimer's and eventual passing, was a heart-wrenching experience, and the feelings of sadness, anger, guilt, and helplessness were overwhelming. Grief is a complex and enduring journey, and for those who have lost a loved one, the ache never truly dissipates. I continue to allow myself to grieve and experience the pain, understanding that embracing these emotions is an essential aspect of healing and growth.
2. Create a support network
Connecting with others can help alleviate feelings of overwhelm. Reach out to friends, family, or professional counsellors to share your thoughts and emotions. Your support network can provide a listening ear, advice, or simply be there to help you feel less alone in your experience.
In the months following my mum's passing, I turned to friends, family, as well as professional counsellors for support. Sharing my thoughts and emotions with others helped me feel less alone and provided a sense of connection during a time of deep grief.
3. Establish healthy coping strategies
Create a personalised toolbox of healthy coping strategies to help you navigate emotional overwhelm during your unique journey. These strategies may include:
Exercise: Physical activity is known to help reduce stress and promote overall well-being. Before my mum's passing, I was able to jog 10km and felt great. However, the emotional overwhelm that followed her death led me to stop exercising altogether, and now I struggle to jog even 10m without feeling out of breath. I need to gradually reintroducing physical activity to cope with emotional overwhelm again, and am taking steps, starting small, to do this. But more on that in another blog.
Mindfulness and meditation: These practices can help you stay present and grounded, even during difficult moments. Practicing mindfulness and meditation provided me with a sense of grounding and presence, enabling me to better navigate the emotional roller-coaster that accompanied my personal experiences.
Deep breathing exercises: When faced with intense emotions, deep, slow breaths can provide a sense of calm and focus. During my moments of heightened emotional turmoil, I discovered the soothing effects of deliberate, slow breathing. This practice helped me maintain composure and stay grounded amid the emotional whirlwind.
Reflecting without overthinking: Taking time to reflect on your experiences, without falling into the trap of overthinking, can be an effective way to express and cope with emotions, ultimately helping you better understand how you feel. Writing down these reflections can further solidify your thoughts and feelings. As I write about my experiences, particularly during my mum's decline and the challenges of supporting my dad, I find it helpful to focus on the present moment and what is actually happening, rather than getting caught up in a spiral of thoughts. By maintaining a balance between reflection and mindfulness, I can work through my emotions and gain a deeper understanding of my experiences. This approach allows me to process my emotions in a healthy way, preventing rumination and excessive worry.
4. Navigate emotional challenges with a balanced approach
Navigating emotional challenges often requires a balanced approach, whether you're facing personal struggles or supporting a loved one through difficult times. By focusing on what you can control, accepting the things you can't, and setting healthy boundaries, you can build resilience and compassion. This balanced approach allows you to effectively manage emotions and maintain strong relationships, ultimately fostering a greater sense of well-being for yourself and those around you.
Focus on what you can control: After losing his life-long friend and wife of 60 years, my dad was left feeling lost and alone. As his only anchor, I felt torn being so far away. When dealing with my dad's loneliness after my mum's passing, I concentrated on the aspects I could influence from afar. By establishing a routine of regular video calls, I could provide emotional support and maintain a strong connection with him. I also researched local resources in his area, such as social groups, clubs, and retirement villages, where he could connect with others, build a support network of his own, and have medical help when he needs it. This not only helped him feel less isolated but also gave me some peace of mind.
Accept things you can't control: In times of emotional overwhelm, it's important to recognise the difference between what you can control and what you cannot. By focusing on the aspects of a situation that you have control over, you can regain a sense of worth and minimise feelings of helplessness. Supporting my dad from a distance came with inherent limitations. I had to accept that I couldn't control every aspect of his life or completely alleviate his loneliness. By acknowledging these constraints, I was able to let go of some of the stress and guilt associated with not being physically present to care for him.
Know your boundaries: Learn to set healthy boundaries to protect your emotional well-being. This may involve limiting your exposure to certain stressors or saying no to additional responsibilities. Establishing boundaries can help you maintain balance and prevent emotional overwhelm. Setting healthy boundaries helped me protect my emotional well-being while supporting my dad from afar. It was important to strike a balance between offering support and maintaining my own mental health. When feeling overwhelmed by my own emotions, I would communicate my need for self-care to my dad, letting him know that I might not be as available for a short period. By expressing my limits, I could take the necessary time to recharge without compromising the quality of the support I provided to him. This approach allowed me to be more present and engaged during our interactions, ultimately benefiting both of us.
5. Prioritise self-care
Taking care of yourself is crucial when navigating emotional overwhelm. Prioritise self-care activities that promote relaxation and well-being, such as getting enough sleep, eating healthily, and engaging in hobbies you enjoy. By caring for yourself, you will be better equipped to cope with challenging emotions.
During this time, I also realised the importance of taking care of myself. I engaged in activities that promoted relaxation and well-being, such as eating more healthily, going for leisurely dog walks, mindfulness, and pursuing hobbies I enjoyed. By maintaining my own emotional health, I am better equipped to support my dad.
6. Seek professional help where needed
If you are feeling emotionally overwhelmed and struggling to manage your feelings on your own, consider reaching out to a mental health professional or therapist. It's important to remember that seeking professional help for mental health concerns is a sign of strength. It's a normal and healthy way to prioritise your well-being and get the support you need.
In my own journey, I found that therapy provided valuable guidance and support as I navigated the complex emotions surrounding my mum's passing and my dad's long-distance care.
Emotional overwhelm is a natural human response to challenging situations, but it doesn't have to consume you. By acknowledging your emotions, building a support network, establishing healthy coping strategies, setting boundaries, and prioritising self-care, you can regain balance and maintain your emotional well-being during difficult times. Remember, it's important to be patient with yourself as you navigate emotional overwhelm and seek help as and when needed.
If you've found this blog helpful, we encourage you to take the next step in your mental health journey. Whether it's reaching out to a mental health professional, practicing mindfulness techniques, or simply taking time for yourself each day, prioritise your mental health and well-being. Remember, you're not alone, and seeking help is a sign of strength.
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Thank you for sharing